|A couple weeks ago Adlene and I |
made some cakes for a friend.
As we arrived home from the hospital our neighbors were waiting for Adlene. From this moment on I learned a significant lesson, one I never thought I would learn from them. As we entered Adlene's house the neighbors came in too. Sitting in quiet, Adlene's soft cries were heard. One man loving put his arm around her and said, "Adlene, it is time to thank God. This is a terrible time but you still need to thank God. For the good and difficult. Am I right? We need to thank God." Soft whispers came from that room. "Thank-you God." I couldn't believe my ears. I didn't think I would hear those words at that time! I must have had the look of shock because my friend Rose said, "Joy, you look like you are in shock". Little did she know their desire to praise God first, in this tragic situation, humbled me to my core. In life's most tragic moments we are to praise God first. So easy to say yet difficult to do. What a lesson learned last night.
It was interesting for me to watch how Adlene responded to this situation. I wondered, how do Haitian men and women mourn for the little ones they never get to meet? Do they mourn? I found out they mourn---just like us. In the hospital Renauld said little but when he spoke tears welled up in his eyes. Soft cries expressed from Adlene and soft deep moans from her soul helped me see we are more the same than I knew. She is just like me. She cries for the baby she will never be able to hold and the death she must grieve. But, unlike me, she praised God first. What an example for me to see.
|Adlene teaching me how|
to cook a couple Haitian
not further away.
On a total separate note this situation made me think of something else. If a baby being made in a woman's womb is just some tissue building up, my dear friend Adlene and other women who lost "tissue" wouldn't be saddened and upset by their loss. They wouldn't care. They wouldn't need to grieve. There would be zero feelings of attachment to the "tissue". Zero feelings. And I wouldn't think about the 2 babies I lost and often wonder who they are and what they would have been like. Adlene lost her baby last night. Her baby. God's child.
If you think to, pray for Renauld and Adlene.
"For you formed my inward parts; you wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seem my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them." Psalm 139:13-16